After a lot of prayer and guidance, everything- from selling our house, to buying our new house just fell into place really smoothly.
Am I sad? A little bit. I definitely cried when I left home to come to college this year because I knew it was the last time I'd be leaving "home." It'll definitely be weird to come home during breaks to a place that isn't technically my "home." But I know, after some time, it'll feel normal again. And I'm 21 years old...Hopefully in the next 5 years I'll have my own home.
One thing that I think I'm coming to terms with is the fact that I don't control my life. God does. And that, if you know me, has taken A LOT for me to be able to do. To sit back when things don't exactly go my way, and say "Not my ways, but Yours." It's really been difficult, but in that I have been able to find peace.
Just the THOUGHT of giving my life over to God completely made me extremely anxious. Even sometimes nauseous. I would give Him a little piece of my life as if He was a baby that I was trying to feed grown-up food to and saying "Here, chew on this for a little bit and then you can have more when I say so."
When I was only giving him little parts of myself, it was hurting Him and I both. He wanted ALL of me, and I was uncomfortable only giving him little pieces. The peace that I get now when I realize that He is in control is indescribable. There's an overwhelming sense of hope that I get when things don't go as I had originally planned. Because the first thing I think of is, "If THIS wasn't what He wanted...I can't even fathom what He's going to give me instead because I KNOW and I TRUST that it's going to be better than what I had wanted at that particular moment."
Something I know a lot of high school and college students struggle with is giving God control over their relationships. I have struggled with that too (and sometimes still do). For the longest time, I was dating a guy who wasn't right for me in any way, shape, or form. But I wanted him SO bad. I wanted us to work. And the kind of emotional attachment I had with him was something I thought no one could live up to. And it's taken me some time, but I'm now seeing that even when you think you have it all figured out and it doesn't work in your favor, God's going to trump whatever you thought was perfect and give you something even better.
So basically, I think my overall goal of this post was to encourage you. If things aren't going your way, or if you're feeling overwhelmed by school, work, or relationships. Be content. Because God's plan for your life is amazing. And if you're completely happy with your life right now. Revel in that. But remember that if things turn south soon...it's only going to become BETTER than what your originally had. I've quoted this verse in another blog post before, but it still reigns true in this instance as well.
""For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "As the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."" - Isaiah 55:8
http://youtu.be/TAPpunj-dMM
Be Still - Bethel Music
"Stop thinking so much
and just let go
and just let go
Be still my soul and rest
Humbly I confess,
in my weakness your strength is perfect
Humbly I confess,
in my weakness your strength is perfect
For You alone are God, there will be no other
And You have won my heart more than any other
So I will give it all 'cause you gave it all for me"
And You have won my heart more than any other
So I will give it all 'cause you gave it all for me"
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