Easier Said Than Done

So in my last post, I told you guys to stay tuned because today is February 21st. The day I had been anticipating for the past month. Today was the day I would find out what the world had planned for me for next school year. Would I be accepted into the RA program? The answer is no. Unfortunately. Because that's what the world has planned for me. And God has something very different planned for next year. And I said that in the last post "I knew that whatever the will would be, whether good or bad, it would be God's and it would be okay," but that was easier said than done when I wasn't sure of the outcome and still had a glimmer of hope that I could potentially be an RA. Now that I can't, I'm discouraged. But God has surrounded me with amazing people continually lifting me up with amazing words of His and also theirs. It's only been about an hour since I found out, and since then I've had people share:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." - John 14:1
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5

"Wherever you land, it will be just where you're supposed to be. Now you are available for something better."
"Perhaps God has something He needs your full attention for next year that you can't give your full attention to the Res Life Program to be able to do your best at both."
"There's literally just something even better out there for you. God won't give you your second best."
"God can do the unimaginable. Do not doubt him." 
"Keep your head up. Christ is bigger than a Res Life position."

These words and verses in the last HOUR have meant more to me than anything else recently. I can't even express how much at peace I feel when just an hour ago, I would have rather crawled into my bed and cried for the rest of the day than lifted my head up and continued to walk justly with God.

Also, yesterday a letter was shoved under my door yesterday because we're discussing "Beauty" this week in my dorm. All it stated was this verse:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." - Ephesians 4:29
I shook it off not really listening to what the words were saying and continued to be worried about what the verdict would be with Res Life this morning. Today, after finding out I didn't get it, I came back to my room and opened up my Bible app on my phone. Everyday it gives me a special verse dedicated to today in case I'm in a rush and just want a quick bite of His Word. Today's verse was Ephesians 4:29. I stared at it for a second remembering that I had JUST read this last night. As I looked at it, I thought about all the hateful things I was thinking and telling myself all the way back to my dorm after finding out I wouldn't be RA.

"You're not good enough."
"Your past is too messy to be a leader."
"They couldn't over look ____"
"You're a disappointment to your friends"
"Now what are you going to do for next year? You're screwed."
"She was right about you."
"You're not worth it." 

Whenever I've read this verse in the past, I always think about gossip. "unwholesome talk." But today, I think God was trying to relay this to me for myself. Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth about MYSELF either. I get it. I'm worth it. I just need to wait for His timing now.

Thanks for all your prayers, scriptures, and kind words today.

Stay beautiful <3