Here we go!

This past year has been a never ending circle of emotions. I'm proud of myself. I've come a long way since last year. Yeah, I mean, in a way I felt I lost a huge part of me, but I feel I was being protected. I didn't deserve it. I deserved better.
During this past year, and probably since 2 years ago, I've continued to lose my trust in people. My way of thinking is that people will consistently disappoint me. There's no point in me having hope in anyone. They need to earn my trust and my faith in them. Otherwise, I could care less. This can be good and bad.
When I got to college, I trusted no one. I had a crappy first year of college. I was depressed. I don't like to admit it, but I wasn't myself. Yeah, I made friends, but not a lot. I had 5 close friends there and that's it. I didn't let anyone else in. Being a Psychology major I know that this wasn't healthy. I would go into my classroom, sit down, stare straight ahead and leave as soon as I could. I didn't talk to people in my classes unless forced to for class projects, etc. I'm not a unhappy, quiet, introverted person though. That wasn't me in college. I don't know what exactly came over me this past year, but I reverted to being secluded my room, and opening up to very few people. I'm optimistic for next year though because I know how I acted wasn't who I really am, and that I could do so much better. I'm ready now :)
Being home for about a month and a half now, I've found myself again. Not completely, but my confidence is coming back at full speed, and I'm just, in general, a happier person since I've been home. Being home isn't completely dandy though; I still fight with my parents and sister, and sometimes I just need to get away. I hate conflict, and prefer to go to my room when angry and listen to music or watch a movie to get my mind off of the argument. I don't like to talk things out. I feel that only my opinion matters and no one else's does, so when an argument arises and mine and someone else's opinions are clashing, I'd rather go to my room and forget it happened. Again, with being a Psychology major, I know that this isn't right, but it's me. It's the way I am. But I'm so persistent with having others talk out their feelings, which is what makes me good at my major. Strange how that all works out.
Since I've been home, I've had a few curve balls thrown my way. I don't get attached anymore. I don't want a relationship unless you can prove to me you're not all the same. Promises are nothing but empty words to me now. First loves suck. More on that, maybe when I feel like it.
For now, I'm tired.

Stay Beautiful<3