Birthdays...Bah! Humbug!

I can be a really jealous person. Not about normal things like boys and such, but of super trivial things.
This is going to sound so stupid when I say this, but I really do think this is a big problem for me: 

Birthdays.

I'll let that soak in for you.



There are many things about others' birthdays that really make me jealous.
One, is the fact that a lot of my friends have birthdays that are conveniently during the school year. So you know what happens? Everyone makes it a huge deal because it's happening right in front of them. My birthday is in the later portion of August. You know what happens during late August? Friends are going back to school, finding last minute items to bring to school, working, and doing other things and my birthday is celebrated with a simple Facebook wall post - "Happy Birthday!" 

Trivial right? 

But, I enjoy making things a big deal. I like going above and beyond to send my best friend a present in the mail if I'm in school, or make a point to give them a present and hang out with them and have our own "celebration" even if that just means going together to get coffee and bringing a present for them to open. When I was younger, I would actually plan huge things for my friend's birthdays. Every year it seemed one of them had a surprise party or something else out of the ordinary that I would plan for them. And I'd say to myself, "I'm sure one of these times, this will happen for me." But it never really did. There was never a birthday where everyone could make it if we did something special. And this year I'll be turning 21. And birthday parties are becoming less and less. And friends are becoming more intimate and less "acquaintances" like back in the day where you could get away with inviting half of your school to someone's surprise birthday party even if they weren't super close with the birthday girl. And that's okay.

But I definitely noticed this year especially, that I have a jealous heart when it comes to birthdays. Coincidentally I'm posting this on my best friend, Amanda's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) and this isn't to make anyone feel bad. It's just come to my attention that I need to stop being jealous and be more loving. And let go of any sort of nonsense that happened long long ago.

Because of all of this, I'm a giver and I actually find it more difficult and awkward to receive. But I'm okay with that. Because I'm a giver, and that's okay :) 

Stay beautiful <3