iLove. iPray. iServe.

Back from week two at Michiana Christian Service Camp. This past week was a much different experience than what week one was like for me. I was confident. I knew that I could lead these kids, God willing. I was excited for what God was going to let me teach these kids!

Little did I know...that He would be teaching me more than I was teaching them.

This summer, almost all of my friends are either out of town living life, or are too busy. Which is perfectly fine, and totally normal for college kids. But most of my summer is being spent at home. Besides the two weeks I got to spend at Michiana.

So God has constantly been teaching me that I can do my life by myself. I can go to Walmart by myself, and nobody is going to be judging me that I'm alone. You know why? Because everyone at Walmart is not worried about everyone else. They're worried about where they can find the hair brush they bought two years ago and are wondering if it's still there.

On a different but completely related note, I truly think that before you can find a significant other, you need to be able to hold your own, being single, for quite some time. Because until you're comfortable being alone with yourself, you're never going to be able to be comfortable with yourself with someone else. That just takes it to a whole new level.

So this summer, I've been alone at home. Working, which I am now realizing that if I had all of my friends home like I have in the past, I wouldn't be working as much as I am. I wouldn't be willing to pick up people's shifts. Which is awesome that this is all happening like this because I really need money this summer to save up for the following school year.

God is SO good. 

So I realized all of this at camp this past week. Awesome. 

I also realized that my lack of physical touch towards people is extreme.
I'm not a very open person. I've crossed my arms ever since I can remember. And my family has tried to break me of this. But I don't cross my arms because I'm upset or being rude. I cross them because I'm comfortable.
And because it's a way for me to be closed off, and that,
hopefully, if I'm lucky, no one will approach me for a hug.

I was made fun of so much by my fellow faculty members because I cannot stand being hugged.
And at first, I was really upset that they were all going out of their way to hug me. Because I felt like since I told them, then they would stop. But they took it as an opportunity. An opportunity to help me see that nothing is wrong with hugs. And that sometimes, we need it. 


So I was discussing all of this with my dad yesterday morning. And he came up with a brilliant idea.
He told me,

"Jessica. Why don't you just imagine everyone as babies? When you hold a baby, you become a new person. Your face lights up, and there's nothing in this world that could tear you away from that baby. If the baby spits up on you, you're still smiling because you know that that baby can't help it. If the baby smiles, you smile even bigger. If the baby laughs, you laugh. There's something about a baby's innocence, that if you could just see that in other people, it would help you to relax, and be a more open and accepting individual."



Uh hello...Jesus. This is totally and completely what I needed to hear after coming back from camp. Because my dad is so right. I will go to the ends of the Earth to hold a child if that's what it takes. At camp, there was a baby that did not like to be held by anyone other than mom or dad, but you betcha I took every opportunity I could to try and bond with that baby even if he was kicking in screaming.
Why can't I show that kind of love to teenagers and adults? 



I also drove 45 minutes yesterday after coming home from camp to go see a newborn baby, 5 pounds of pure adorableness, and I've never been more awake and excited as I was then. I was so happy to be holding that baby and could have probably sat there with her for hours. Why can't I sit down with teens or adults and have that same kind of love, compassion, and alertness with them? 






I have never had such a powerful week, of seeing and hearing God consistently throughout my life. He is opening up doors for me that I never thought would open, and is constantly showing me his grace and mercy.

Stay Beautiful <3