An Even Better Plan

Valentine's Day. I barely noticed the holiday this year. Not because I'm one of those people who passionately hates the holiday and would rather watch the world burn than celebrate it alone; but because I was genuinely happy with my life and didn't feel as if I needed a significant other to make that day worth it. Valentine's Day landed on a Friday this year, so I went out for ice cream with my friends and it was great! No wallowing in self-pity and wanting, waiting, and wishing. I had a great night full of laughter and friendship.

I remembered today that I had wrote a blog on Valentine's Day last year and I felt it necessary to go back and give it another read (click here if you haven't read before). As I was reading it I was thoroughly impressed with how far I've come. I was dealing with a lot of issues last year and things that I needed to get under control before I let someone else into my life. This year, I still struggle, but not nearly as much as I did before and I can only thank God for that. 

Last year, I was also struggling with not being ready; perhaps because I needed to be alone in order to tackle the opportunities God was calling me to. And I believe, after looking back, that that was a big reason for my seasons of singleness this past year. There is no way that I could have handled having a boyfriend last semester; with volunteering twice a week at Lutheran Children's Hospital in Fort Wayne for four hours every Monday and Wednesday with an hour drive there and back, on top of a 10 hour a week job, and a full class load... I barely made it out of last semester alive! This semester, there's still so much I'm doing. I volunteer every Wednesday night and Sunday morning in the nursery at my church. Which is exactly where I need to be twice a week in order to stay sane; loving on the babies, teaching them how to crawl and walk is something I could do everyday for free and be completely happy. I think that's how God establishes our passions. If it's something you could be 100% happy doing for FREE, you know you're in the right field. I don't need anything in return when I'm with children and babies. 

It also dawned on me today that I will be graduating college in ten months. Ten very short, fast months if it continues at the pace it's been going. In these three years at college, I haven't had a single serious relationship. I've "dated" once or twice but nothing significant. When I pictured what my college years would look like when I was in high school this is not how I saw it. I had a plan (let's laugh about that together). I also had this idea in my head that I would be married by 22. That's in 7 months...so unless someone super extraordinary sweeps me off my feet, I gotta let that dream go, unfortunately. 

If there's anything I've learned while being away from home, in college, and while building a deeper relationship with Christ, it's that life never goes the way you expected it to. But the crazy thing is, that the way you expected and wished for - isn't your best. Isn't that crazy?

What I believed to be ideal for me -- dating someone all through college, getting married my last semester, having babies and living happily ever after -- that's not my best. And that's definitely been a struggle for me to accept. The fact that there's an even better plan that I may not even be aware of yet, has me in complete awe of God's blueprint for my life. 

He is faithful. And my verse that I've been holding onto this past week has been: 

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." - Exodus 14:14

I also discovered this song this week, and highly recommend it. Pieces - Meredith Andrews
"Rest in who He is. He knows how to make your pieces fit." 

Stay beautiful.
Because God has an amazing plan for your life, if you let Him take the lead.